somewhere near the bottom

Christopher Ogden. 20. Educated. Aimless. Boring.

Inspiration gathered from the far corners of the web, most of these images and texts are sourced from people far more interesting than myself.

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GPOY.

GPOY.

When We Escape

The bone inside his jaw being crunched around and manipulated by a pair of pliers and two big hands rang out like a gunshot in my ears. Even if the novocaine takes away the pain, it does nothing to detract from that sound. It was my own fucking fault though, I should have known better than to get lippy with that bouncer outside Planet Love two days ago, over what? A fucking girl? A stripper? Please. The medical bill for this little jaunt alone was proof enough that the place wasn’t worth my time.

There was something about that girl though; I was so drawn to her. It was nearly worth getting worked over by that big monkey and the two Christmas hams he had strapped to his wrists that he called hands. She didn’t carry herself like the others, the deceit that wafted past those other women, mixed in with their cheap perfume – desperate to cover up their own insecurities that left them far more naked than taking off a few clothes did. She walked with purpose, with a poise I hadn’t seen except in old movies. And she loved me, truly loved me. For one night back in the last October. I had to go back; I decided right there and then, my eyes rolling back into my skull and a healthy dose of novocaine taking away all my pain and worries for the time being. There were water marks on the roof that I was staring up into that usually would have bothered me – not to the point of saying something – but bothered none the less. Right now I couldn’t give two fucks about a few little water marks. Beyond my altered state I knew that this girl was different. Like the other different girls that I’d seen near that place before and then never again. I drifted off to a half sleep-like state with the sounds of a drill blaring like a numb siren in my brain.

I stumbled up to the entrance, feeling as gaudy as the fake velvet and harsh lighting that shrouded the entrance. Planet Love. Get past the bouncer. Find the girl. Keep falling in love. Love is a dangerous chemical though; All that dopamine and elevated GABA in your brain can’t be healthy for too long. The only thing everyone wants all of the time: ‘love’. People think that when they fall in love they make themselves whole? The platonic union of souls? I think you’re whole before you begin. And then love fractures you. You’re whole, and then you’re cracked open. The situation at hand was fluid, which was to say - I’d been drinking a lot. More pressing things at hand, like the four scotch and sodas I’d necked in that cheap bar around the corner finally crossing the blood brain barrier. I knew a little something about liquid courage, and right now I was charging like a gladiator. Moving forward towards the doors and my vision started to go hazy, the edges of everything fuzzed out softly like some forgotten Monet sitting covered in dust in a basement of a house somewhere. Reaching the gates and it was time to shine, days of anticipation building up to this exact moment. Kick your head back and laugh, it’s all you’ve got at times like this. Feel the rush bellow up from the bottom of you, from some far forgotten corner of your heart that most of your pride has left buried. This is your all singing, all dancing, all of the time fucked up spec of a life on the roadmap of history. Just try and make it one hell of a mark.

I strode up to the bouncer, which is to say, I ducked and weaved from the after effects of all that booze in my bloodstream.

“Where the fuck is she?”

“She’s gone. Across the border. You’re never going to see her again. Move away from the door please sir, we have other paying clients on their way.”

“I could give fuck all what you do to me” I barked at the big chimp in the pressed black suit towering before me “but don’t you fucking hurt ‘em. Otherwise things won’t go your way. I’m not going to just fucking evaporate now am I?”

“What makes you so sure?” He spat back at me, his voice filled with such venom and fury it forced me to take a half step back.

“I won’t be having this, not tonight. So if you’ll excuse me – I’m off to see the boss” I said before I took three steps making towards the horrible double wooden doors. He swung then, from the side of my vision and connected with one ferocious hit that left me dazed and falling backwards, pavement racing up to greet me. I found myself dissolving into a sort of joyless laughter as I watched fate fall to its knees in a horrific and bloody defeat at the hands of a man who never believed in love. He approached me, bearing perfect coffee-stained teeth and extending cigarette holding fingers accusingly like the claws of a bear caught in angry traps set in the forest of stolen hearts.

“She’s gone. It’s over. Now fuck off home.”

I stood up and turned back, away from the harsh lights and towards the taxis streaming out of the city like drops of water from a leaky tap. Totally dejected, my posture was bent to that of an old man in the cold, protecting my injury. Why can’t I free myself from you? My dreams are interrupted by the things you said to me while I slept beside you in October. I can still feel your fingers placed in mine, locked in place by love.

I have been abandoned in the cold. I now belong to the winter.

- Christopher Ogden. 2012

hanesty: emma-brando: For almost half a century, Don Ritchie would approach people contemplating suicide at the edge of The Gap, just 50 metres from his home in Watsons Bay, his palms facing up. Mr Ritchie told his daughter Sue Ritchie Bereny he would smile and say: “Is there something I could do to help you?” “And that was all that was often needed to turn people around, and he would say not to underestimate the power of a kind word and a smile,” said Mrs Ritchie Bereny. Mr Ritchie, sometimes known as the angel or watchman of The Gap, is acknowledged to have stopped about 160 people from jumping to their deaths. He died at St Vincent’s Hospital yesterday, surrounded by his wife Moya, 85, daughters Jan, Donna and Sue, and four grandchildren, who travelled from across Australia and from Indonesia to Sydney to see him. He was 86. Mr Ritchie was born on June 9, 1925 in Vaucluse, and studied at Vaucluse Public School and Scots College. When World War II broke out, he served in the Royal Australian Navy on HMAS Hobart, and was on the ship in Tokyo Bay when the Japanese surrendered in 1945. From his 30s to his 60s, Mr Ritchie worked for a multinational firm and built up a significant career in the corporate world, Mrs Ritchie Bereny said. In 1964, the former life insurance salesman moved into a house on Old South Head Road across the road from Jacobs Ladder at the southern end of the Gap Park. It was his home till the end. From that time, Mr Ritchie started to rescue suicidal strangers. “Things were different way back then. It was before there were police rescue vans, before there were more sophisticated mechanisms like hotlines. In those days, he got a bravery medal for saving somebody at the cliff - he actually tackled somebody on the edge of the cliff,” Mrs Ritchie Bereny said. “He is famous for bringing people back to the house for tea or breakfast.” Mr Ritchie’s actions touched so many hearts that in 2010, he and his wife were named Woollahra Council’s “Citizens of the Year”. Last year, he was given the Local Hero Award for Australia by the National Australia Day Council. “In a situation where most would turn a blind eye, Don has taken action … With such simple actions Don has saved an extraordinary number of lives,” the National Australia Day Council said. Today, Woollahra Council and the National Australia Day Council praised Mr Ritchie for his dedication. “Don’s story touched the hearts of all Australians and challenged each of us to rethink what it means to be a good neighbour,” the acting chief executive of the National Australia Day Council, Tam Johnston, said in a statement. “Don was a true gentleman with a smile that could light up the room.” The Mayor of Woollahra, Cr Susan Wynne, called Mr Ritchie a great man whose “courage delivered small miracles”. Mr Ritchie, who had joined mental health advisers and the member for Wentworth Malcolm Turnbull in supporting the funding of suicide prevention measures at The Gap, was also praised by the Liberal politician. “His work lives on forever not just in the lives of those he saved but in his heroism and example of public service,” Mr Turnbull said in a statement. For Mrs Ritchie Bereny, her father was the best role model she could think of for her grandson. “When the school that my grandson goes to asked me for input about what sort of child they might produce, I used him as a role model because there are lots of strong people in the world - but I think strength with compassionate is what we should strive for.” Last year, when he was involved in the launch to promote the Australian of the Year awards for 2012, he was asked to take one letter of the word Australia and pin a story that inspired them to it, Mrs Ritchie Bereny said. Mr Ritchie chose the story of Simpson and his donkey. “I think that epitomises him. It’s about an everyday person who did an extraordinary thing for many people that saved lives, without any want of recognition.” A service for Mr Ritchie OAM will be held at the Naval Memorial Chapel at HMAS Watson, Watsons Bay on Friday at 1.30pm. There will be a celebration of his life after the service at the Rose Bay RSL. Lifeline: 131 114; Salvo Crisis Line 93312000; Beyond Blue 1300224 636. Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/death-of-the-angel-of-the-gap-the-man-who-saved-the-suicidal-from-themselves-20120514-1ymle.html#ixzz1upVvCibW I remember reading about this guy ages ago. What a legend.

hanesty:

emma-brando:

For almost half a century, Don Ritchie would approach people contemplating suicide at the edge of The Gap, just 50 metres from his home in Watsons Bay, his palms facing up.

Mr Ritchie told his daughter Sue Ritchie Bereny he would smile and say: “Is there something I could do to help you?”

“And that was all that was often needed to turn people around, and he would say not to underestimate the power of a kind word and a smile,” said Mrs Ritchie Bereny.

Mr Ritchie, sometimes known as the angel or watchman of The Gap, is acknowledged to have stopped about 160 people from jumping to their deaths.

He died at St Vincent’s Hospital yesterday, surrounded by his wife Moya, 85, daughters Jan, Donna and Sue, and four grandchildren, who travelled from across Australia and from Indonesia to Sydney to see him. He was 86.

Mr Ritchie was born on June 9, 1925 in Vaucluse, and studied at Vaucluse Public School and Scots College.

When World War II broke out, he served in the Royal Australian Navy on HMAS Hobart, and was on the ship in Tokyo Bay when the Japanese surrendered in 1945.

From his 30s to his 60s, Mr Ritchie worked for a multinational firm and built up a significant career in the corporate world, Mrs Ritchie Bereny said.

In 1964, the former life insurance salesman moved into a house on Old South Head Road across the road from Jacobs Ladder at the southern end of the Gap Park. It was his home till the end.

From that time, Mr Ritchie started to rescue suicidal strangers.

“Things were different way back then. It was before there were police rescue vans, before there were more sophisticated mechanisms like hotlines. In those days, he got a bravery medal for saving somebody at the cliff - he actually tackled somebody on the edge of the cliff,” Mrs Ritchie Bereny said.

“He is famous for bringing people back to the house for tea or breakfast.”

Mr Ritchie’s actions touched so many hearts that in 2010, he and his wife were named Woollahra Council’s “Citizens of the Year”.

Last year, he was given the Local Hero Award for Australia by the National Australia Day Council.

“In a situation where most would turn a blind eye, Don has taken action … With such simple actions Don has saved an extraordinary number of lives,” the National Australia Day Council said.

Today, Woollahra Council and the National Australia Day Council praised Mr Ritchie for his dedication.

“Don’s story touched the hearts of all Australians and challenged each of us to rethink what it means to be a good neighbour,” the acting chief executive of the National Australia Day Council, Tam Johnston, said in a statement.

“Don was a true gentleman with a smile that could light up the room.”

The Mayor of Woollahra, Cr Susan Wynne, called Mr Ritchie a great man whose “courage delivered small miracles”.

Mr Ritchie, who had joined mental health advisers and the member for Wentworth Malcolm Turnbull in supporting the funding of suicide prevention measures at The Gap, was also praised by the Liberal politician.

“His work lives on forever not just in the lives of those he saved but in his heroism and example of public service,” Mr Turnbull said in a statement.

For Mrs Ritchie Bereny, her father was the best role model she could think of for her grandson.

“When the school that my grandson goes to asked me for input about what sort of child they might produce, I used him as a role model because there are lots of strong people in the world - but I think strength with compassionate is what we should strive for.”

Last year, when he was involved in the launch to promote the Australian of the Year awards for 2012, he was asked to take one letter of the word Australia and pin a story that inspired them to it, Mrs Ritchie Bereny said.

Mr Ritchie chose the story of Simpson and his donkey.

“I think that epitomises him. It’s about an everyday person who did an extraordinary thing for many people that saved lives, without any want of recognition.”

A service for Mr Ritchie OAM will be held at the Naval Memorial Chapel at HMAS Watson, Watsons Bay on Friday at 1.30pm. There will be a celebration of his life after the service at the Rose Bay RSL.

Lifeline: 131 114; Salvo Crisis Line 93312000; Beyond Blue 1300224 636.



Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/death-of-the-angel-of-the-gap-the-man-who-saved-the-suicidal-from-themselves-20120514-1ymle.html#ixzz1upVvCibW

I remember reading about this guy ages ago. What a legend.

(via killerccunt)

Party wolves rolling out tonight.

Party wolves rolling out tonight.